Posts tagged bra fit
Posts tagged bra fit
Lingerie Addict Flashback | Bra Fit Formulas: Is the “War on Plus Four” the Answer?
Are more formulas and methods the answer to bra fitting? Learn why fit, not formulas, is the right approach.
The offending blog post? A guest article titled “7 Tips to Remember When Getting a Bra Fitting at the Mall.” You check out the Reddit thread here.
Take a look at the following misinformation:
1. First and foremost be body positive.
2. Keep in mind that fittings in a mall store are nearly impossible to truly be one on one.
3. Remember that you are not a bra size.
4. On that note, be selective about who you bring to your bra fitting.
5. Measurements do not tell the whole story.
6. Expect that you might have to try on several bra frames and styles to get your best fit bra, and that you might have to go to more than one store to find one.
7. Most importantly, if you are not comfortable in any way with the fitting you are receiving, walk away.
You should expect that your bra fitter will ask what you are currently wearing, and listen to what you want in your next bra. I should select several sizes and styles for you, and seek additional bra frames if needed. Your bra fitter should teach you how a bra should fit, helping you find a bra shape that suits your breasts best, and provide washing and wearing tips.
Sorry for lying to everyone, I guess? I had no idea this was deceptive content. I apologize to you all for having the audacity to suggest that you should be body positive or that you’re more than a bra size. In the future, I’ll make sure to secure the appropriate permissions before even mentioning bras.
Threads like this are why I have a hard time getting behind Reddit’s “A Bra That Fits” community, despite all the positive press it’s been receiving lately.
The Lingerie Lesbian and I are not “harming women” by wearing a bra size that feels comfortable to us, even if it breaks your rules of bra fit. Nor are we doing a disservice to women by choosing to focus on something other than bra fit on our respective blogs. There are more issues affecting women than bra fit; we are not some homogenous group with identical concerns.
In addition, I take issue with the notion that anyone should have to post a “disclaimer” legitimizing their body type and personal preferences simply because they’re different from the norm. We don’t all have to like the same things, but I’m certainly not going to brand myself with a ‘scarlet letter’ because I like something different from you.
I think there is absolutely merit in that trial-and-error approach because trial and error is how every woman finds the bras that work for them. Even when you know your size, you won’t wear that exact size in every brand or style, so trying on a lot of bras at once not only gives you a crash course in fit for your body, it also tells you which brands and bra styles work best for your body.
A lot of women don’t know how the right size should feel right away, and that’s okay because a lot of women have never had a comfortable bra. It should definitely feel different though; your breasts should feel supported and lighter, for example.
I have a video here about three ways to tell if your bra fits, but it’s basically this info:
Hope this helps!
Here’s another recent article that provoked a ton of criticism. The leadup to this article and some of the comments I received in response to it are partially what motivated my recent post about issues in the body positive community.
Mostly though, I’m just tired of people telling me how weird my body is (“you’re a unicorn!”), implying my body is somehow less female/feminine because I have small breasts (“My boyfriend wears a 34C…LOLOLOLOL!”), or telling me that not being able to find a bra that fits is the real issue (Which implies that anything other than bra fit is a “fake” issue. No thank you.)
In a lot of ways, the current obsession with bra fit feels like first and second wave feminism all over again. One group of women (a group that shares many of the same demographic characteristics) has decided what should be important for all women…to the exclusion of any other topic or perspective. And if you disagree with them or critique their language, then you’re marginalized as “not really supporting women.”
That’s wrong. And as of this year I’m done with acting like that’s okay.
The Lingerie Addict is not a bra fit blog.
Last year, I spent a lot of time and e-mails explaining why I wasn’t a full bust blogger and why my blog doesn’t focus on my bra fit. At some point over the past couple of years, the default assumption became that all lingerie bloggers should be both full busted and bra fit enthusiasts. Because I’m neither, I sometimes get e-mails from people who think my lack of bra fit advice makes me a “bad” lingerie blogger, or who are convinced that I’m in the wrong bra size (and therefore “spreading false information” about fit) simply because I have a different body type, different priorities, and different preferences than they do.
I’m not a bra fit blogger because that wasn’t what made me interested in lingerie. I didn’t become a lingerie blogger because I was unhappy with my bra. Even now, bra fit isn’t my primary concern when it comes to lingerie. To me, the world of lingerie is much bigger than bras. I love girdles and slips and stockings and peignoirs and chemises and lounge sets and robes and corsets and so much more. Bras are just a small part of my lingerie landscape.
I’m not a bra fit blogger because I believe personal preference is at least as important (if not more so) than rules and formulas. Bra fit depends on so many variables – age, body type, disability, breast shape, breast width, rib cage shape, muscle vs. fat ratio, etc. etc., that any “one true fit” formula will, by its very nature, only apply to a fraction of women. When a reader has a bra fit question, I prefer to direct them to where they can find good answers, and that frequently isn’t this blog.
I’m not a bra fit blogger because I’m passionate about making the conversation on lingerie bigger than just a conversation on fit. Bra fit is talked about everywhere, not just among lingerie bloggers and fitting communities, but also in the mainstream media. While bra fit is a popular lens for viewing lingerie, and an important one, it’s not the only one. Fit is not the center of every woman’s experience, nor is it the starting point for every woman’s relationship with her lingerie. Some women don’t even consider fit to be relevant! There are many, many perspectives for discussing lingerie, and they’re all valid…even the ones not about fit.
In some ways, the conversation on lingerie feels smaller now than it ever has before. Even more distressingly (and frustratingly), the way some people talk about fit actually contributes to making other women feel marginalized. An environment explicitly prioritizing bra fit above any other perspective (like ethnicity or sexuality or disability) can make women who share those alternate perspectives feel alienated. It is completely unacceptable that I’ve been told, on more than one occasion, that issues which affect me and matter to me are unimportant because they’re not about fit.
It also bothers me when fit advice is couched in body snark or when it’s used as a weapon to imply a blogger cares less about women. I’ve frequently been put in the awkward position of strangers expecting me to explain my body to them, because it’s “impossible” for me to wear the size I actually wear. That kind of uninvited, dogmatic commentary is not only aggressive, it’s arrogant and it’s a turn-off. My body isn’t wrong because it’s different from yours. I shouldn’t have to “prove” anything about my body to legitimize the bra size I say I am. And it certainly shouldn’t be implied that I don’t “really” care about women because I’ve chosen to focus on something other than bra fit. It’s incredibly ironic when women who’ve felt ostracized for their body type begin to do the same to other women. If I’m okay with how my bra fits and feels, why in the world should anyone else have a problem with it?
If you’re a woman who was in the wrong bra size for a long time, I understand that bra fit changed your life, and I’m happy for you. Every woman deserves to wear lingerie she loves, that she feels comfortable and confident in. Fit is a major part of that. However, it’s misguided to insist that everyone else’s lingerie conversation begin and end with fit too. For me, breast support and fit isn’t the first thing on my mind when it comes to my lingerie and bras. My personal passion for intimates tends to fall along the lines of fashion and social commentary, and both of those perspectives are just as valid as one focusing on fit. We can and should have a variety of experiences and ways of relating to lingerie. Because there’s enough room for all of us.